Up Your Sexing Game with Some CSS

how geeking out (almost) got me laid

*** The contents of this post may or may not have been crowdsourced.  User discretion is advised***

Step 1: CSS – The Basics

Word of the wise… The techniques described herein are not for the uninitiated.  This text assumes the reader has prior experience with sexting and a working knowledge of HTML / CSS.  If you need to look up any of these terms… this tutorial is not meant for you.

The first step in upping your sexting game with CSS is announcing to the world that you can, in fact, banter in such ways.

I recently added a bit of CSS to my online dating profile and it goes like this:

all_around_awesome_man {

visibility: always!important;

background: transparent;

position: relative;

display: block;

height: 5616px;

min-height: 4536px;

max-height: 80%;

career: absolute;

humour: inline;

}

The original idea behind this was to eliminate the idiots – those with a single-digit IQ will have no clue what jargon I put up and will move on.  Others, regardless if they know what I’m actually saying, would at least understand it appears to be some kind of coding language.

The friends who get you

This little bit of code generated some interesting conversations in a few of my online groups and some of the more notable comments follow.

“Can you ID such a man by his class” garnered some laughs, and the ladies were quick to point out I should create a few other classes,  .not-tonight or .girls_night, to counter the visibility: always command.  There was much laughter and I thought that was the end of that.

Step 2: Banter with a FFTW (Friend From The Web)

The next few days saw some mild bantering via private message with a FFTW.  This va et vien was quite innocent and random at best.

css1

Until it wasn’t.

css2

css3

Step 3: 1st base is for sissies

Talk may have been had re: international booty call but you’ll need to give me a lot of wine to get those details out of me.

This, however, is where one jumps in with:

.clothing { display: none; }

Cuts the chitter-chatter and brings it back to basics.  Hold on to your hats ladies, it’s all sexy from here.  I’d say hold on to your pants, but it appears you just dropped them ;).

Step 4:  Game On

css4

The FFTW in question will be left mind-blown, speechless, and likely wanting more – which is exactly where you want him.   Not only is he now turned on by the idea of sex… You got him weak in the knees using your noggin.

Of course, this only works if he actually understands a word you’re saying.  See step 1.

Step 5: When Shit Gets Weird, and It Will

Random and unplanned sexy ventures always get weird whether we want to admit it or not.   This is where you * do * need to pull up your big-girl pants and own your awesomeness.

css5

Handle yourself with grace, add some humour, and leave the door open for more – maybe, possibly, someday.

And to finish…

Sexting isn’t always about the sex.  It’s not always about the nudies and the dick pics, it doesn’t have to be crass and crude though I’ve heard “pussy” isn’t as bad a word as I thought it was.  It can be fun, engaging, and stimulating (uhm… goes without saying I hope).

So Ladies, Gentlemen… how do you up your game?

 

 

 

 

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