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Type-A Parent Conference – Atlanta 2014 #typeacon

Posted on Aug 20, 2014 | 28 comments

I’ve been to a lot of blog conferences in the last 3 years – I’ve even spoken at several.  Fun? Check.  Meeting new people?  CheckAwesome learning opportunities?  Check.

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I wanted to attend the Type-A Parent conference in Atlanta this year because DisneyYou heard meDisneyAs in the large mouse with the big ears.

I’ve had a blogger crush on the Disney social media moms program since I first heard about it.  I am in awe of all things Disney and social media so when I discovered they were the sponsor for THIS conference…. How can I say no?!?  (BTW, Mouse-Folk, I’ll be there ;) nudge-nudge, wink-wink.  You can’t miss me – curly hair, big eyes, and a bubbly personality that would put Minnie to shame – Let’s connect, shall we?)

Then I looked at the schedule and speaker line up for the Type-A Parent conference.

Ahem.

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Yowza!   The schedule looks fantastic and some time slots I will have a hard time picking between sessions.  I only know one of the speakers and I’ve never seen her on stage before (that’s a good thing!).  Many topics are covered at most conferences but having a fresh perspective on said topicsSign me up.

I’m excited for the Refining Your Voice session, and the Stop Being Scared of VideoThe opening keynote – Think Like A Rock Star - looks fantastic, as does The Power of IRL.  There’s the We Still Blog awards and – something I’ve never seen before – scheduled BRAND DINNERS!!!

I’ve heard great things about the Type-A Parent Conference and I’m really excited I get to attend this year.  A new city explored, new connections, and new experiences that will take me out of my comfort zone.

So what are you waiting for?  Sign up NOW to attend the world’s top conference for mom and dad bloggers. Then find some roomies over at #typeacon and let’s get this party going!

See y’all in Atlanta :)

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Monkeying Around

Posted on Aug 19, 2014 | 60 comments

There’s a moment in one’s life where one come to the distinct realization that their family might just be a little more different than most.

I was inducted into the Hall of Weird at age 7.  Except I thought it was the Hall of Cool.  Like, Samantha-is-wearing-leggings-and-pointy-shoes-and-a-neon-shirt-that-falls-off-the-shoulder-and-OMG-did-you-know-she-wears-a-bra cool.

Not unlike finding out from the latest teeny-bopper magazine that your chest is a AAA – which clearly beats out your friend’s AAAA cup - and being oblivious to the wry smiles of everyone each time you brag about your bounty, sometimes we’re the last to know that HoC is really HoW.

I was so oblivious it never occurred to me that carrying around my induction trophy, membership card, and certificate of authenticity (of the Hall of Weird, not my cup size) was maybe not such a great idea after all.

Incorporating spaz-tastic, mads the shits yo, What-Ever, talk to the hand, ‘and a half’, fubared, dis, wicked, totally, burn, and many others into my vocabulary in sad attempts to coolify myself would have been a better idea.

But I digress, I’m a little spazzy tonight.

Cue Star Wars opening credit song

“We’re getting a monkey!”

and…… play!

It’s illegal to import monkeys, but it’s not illegal to own them.  And this guy at a local pet shop had this adorable – and wild - young long-tailed chap.  And he was coming home with us!

Though my parents and sister visited him many times those 2 weeks he was at the shop all I had were images from my vivid imagination.  I was beyond excited and practically ran home from school the day my new ‘brother’ Charlie was adopted.

Charliethe small, gorgeous, capuchin monkeywas my new best friend.  He was still wild when he came home but he quickly adopted us and began to think of himself as human It’s true!  He would scream at you if you uttered ‘monkey’ in his presence;  if you served guests coffee and didn’t offer him a beverage, he’d poop in his hands and throw it at said guests He was one of us, and insisted we never forget.  (The time the poop landed in the coffee mug though – that was priceless.)

With peanuts, and juice, and fruits, and tiny little sweat-tarts ‘pills’ we taught him to be gentle We would put a candy in our mouth and he would then climb up to take it with his teeth.  We hid peanuts in our pockets and let him search usMom started walking us to school with Charlie on his leash when it was nice out. 

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Charlie loved kids, and loved people.  During hot summer days he’d hang out front in the shaded outdoor cage and the neighborhood kids (and adults alike!) would come chat with him.  He was a real charmereven shaking hands before going all klepto on some poor old lady’s purse or unsuspecting mom’s cleavage.

When Mom and her then fiancée split up we had to leave Charlie with him - we would be moving into a tiny apartment with no balcony and it was no place for a monkey.   For years he’d summer with us like the Kardashians summer in the Hamptons.  We would stop by after school and go spend time with him.

The last time I saw him, we both criedThe following month I found out my mom’s ex had given him to the Papanack Zoo, where he became a local celebrity.

I never saw him again – I couldn’t make myself go see him I wanted to.  I wanted to call them up, talk to his handler, have alone time with him – not through a cage.  But I couldn’t.  He would cry.  I would cry.  Would he understand why I was leaving without him?  I couldn’t make myself break his little heart like that. 

He passed away in 2005, his handler at his side.  I like to believe she loved him almost as much as we did.  J-F was showing the kids videos of funny animals on YouTube and there were several like Charlie - same sounds, same little faces…. and he’s been on my mind. 

So yeah, I’m the weird girl with the monkey.  And that’s a trophy I will forever proudly carry on my back.   Cause he was one special little dude.  

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Are you a good mother?

Posted on Aug 17, 2014 | 64 comments

Summer always starts off with the gentle earth-mother-esque firm-yet-gentle whisper-screaming-scary-mom voice. By the time back to school rolls around the earth mother has disappeared.  Her replacement must shout scream bellow just to be heard over the herd of screaming hyenas posing as innocent children.

Yeah, I know.  I should scream less.  I should be more patient and understanding.  I should probably stab myself in the eyes with a cayenne-laced pencil instead of getting upset.

The newly folded laundry is on the floor mixed with the dirty clothes that WAS in the basket.  There’s an (empty) bowl of cherries under the table and you know that’s going to end up in a shitstorm.

The preschooler found time to pee in the potty but the 3rd grader was doing ‘running-jumping-dance-gymnastics‘ and tripped over the pot while the other one was pulling up her pants.   Meanwhile, the toddler has a sock in one hand and my brand new shirt in the other, attempting the clean the pee in a ‘wax-on-wax-off’ fashion.  

There’s a decapitated naked Barbie on the floor and Daddy’s shoes are wedged between the seat cushions of our couch.  The now-empty laundry basket is turned upside-down, trapping the cat who’s furtively trying - and failing – to escape his new cage.

All of this because I decided that my exploding bladder was more important than, say, just about anything else in that moment.  All of this for a quick 30 second pee-wipe-flush-wash sprint.  There must be a time-warp vortex in our house – how else can you explain so much damage in so little time?

Does this make me a bad mother?

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Probably not.  But I won’t lie, I’m super excited for Back-To-School.  So excited that when I saw this post about turning shower caddies into homework stations I just had to make some for the kids (and maybe for me too…).  All I needed - other than copious amounts of school supplies – was a dollar store shower caddie and some chalkboard labels from Kidecals.

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Awesome post from MustHaveMom.com

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I recently discovered Kidecals and now I might be getting slightly obsessed with this whole labeling thing.  I got labels for the pantry (breakfast stuff does NOT go on the pasta shelf and vice versa!).  I got more of the chalkboard labels to use over the hooks I bought to organize the kids’ coats (the fact that said hooks have been in their Ikea bag for 6 months is besides the point).  I might even have gotten a label for my bin of labels.

Kids still driving you nuts?

Grab a glass of wine, sit back, and browse the Kidecals website while dreaming of your perfectly organized pristine dream home with white towels and sheets that stay white and a kitchen devoid of fruit flies as you’ll never discover a shriveled up old orange in the (properly labelled) utensil jar.

While I didn’t find my dream home for sale on their website, I am excited to reorganize my life once the kids are back in school and label the heck out of  everything :) Shipping to Ottawa was roughly $13 and the prices are super reasonable.  What are you looking forward to labeling?

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